|
From Brooke to Me:
Hey Buddy!
Once there was a teddy bear. His name was Jordeuse. In english, that name means lawnmower. He was a psycho! really! I'm serious. But no one cares. So one day, Jordeuse decided to do the Hula. But he ended up in prison. I don't like cows. do you? Oh no! we can't leave him in prison! What is stewed fruit? I have no clue. N-E-Wayz, back to Jordeuse. He is dead. Yes, you can cry.
-Brooke
*note: some stories include visual aids, but those, unfortunately, cannot be scanned currently because I don't have a scanner.
Me to Brooke:
Hey buddy:
Once upon a few years ago, there was a grape named Garpa. Garpa got sick one day, and hired the famous attorney the Mexican Disco King. the Mexican Disco King hired his son, Mr. Ed to be his co-counsel in suing the person that got Garpa sick: C6H12O6. But C6H12O6 was Mr Ed's best friend and translator, so he couldn't do it. So The Mexican Disco King went to Mali. Garpa was best friends with a lawnmower that was allergic to grass named Calculator**. Calculator and Garpa did everything together, went cruising, went jellyfishin', Everything! Garpa died. Now that Garpa was dead, Calculator was sad. But not for long, because the Mexican Disco King had returned from his journey to Timbuktu(the capital of Mali). How nice. Mr. Ed and C6H12O6 now live in Texas permanently. How fun. Mr Ed's horse was named Eduardo. Eduardo could speak only English, Swahili, and Czech. Yes, czech. Mr Ed could only speak spanish, so his translator, C6H12O6, translated for him.
From Me to Brooke:
~Hey Buddy~
Once upon a decade ago, there were 4 people named Anybody, Everybody, Somebody and Nobody. Anybody and everybody in the town loved somebody, but nobody loved anybody! How tragic. Nobody tried to make anybody fall in love wth somebody, but everybody was being stubborn. To stubborn in fact, to realize that somebody was dying. Everybody gasped at the thought of somebody dying. Anybody could see that nobody really cared though, because nobody loved anybody. Everybody hated somebody. Anyway, somebody had an idea: what if what if everybody grabbed somebody's hand and nobody cared? What if anybody cared? nobody hated anybody. But somebody hated everybody and there was nothing anybody could do about it. But nobody cares. The end :)
From me to Brooke:
Hey buddy! I hadn't written you in a few days so I decided to write you a story. Once upon a time (about 2 days ago) there was a piece of paper named Taiwannaronirama. But he died because you carelessly tore him out and wrote on him! Murderer! aneewae, since you killed the main character, I'll write a new one.
There was a blade of grass that lived
it's name was Bill
upon a hill
Bill liked the trees and watched them grow
til they grew still
upon the hill
Bill pondered, "why do trees grow still?"
upon this hill
"why?" wondered Bill
So one day Bill went on a journey
he left the hill
he loved it still
he wandered far and wide to find
an answer still
he missed the hill
he found his answer soon and knew
why trees grew still
they became ill
When trees get ill they sadly die
upon the hill
and so did Bill.
From Brookie to me, an e-story, if you will
once upon a time
there was a tissue box.
once under a time
there was a plastic toupee.
once beside a time
there was an evil stepsister.
once in a time
the plastic toupee was worn by the evil stepsister,
who was allergic to tissue boxes,
who didn't really like toupees either,
who spent most of her time in the grocery store
looking for a reason to wear a toupee,
who never found a reason so she ended up
wearing the toupee anyway.
APPLAUSE!!!
The following was written by me in my biology class. Coach Stiffler allowed me to do a Story of the Week. I would write one page each monday and post it on his bulletin board for everyone to read. I recieved several...comments. Below is each story(there were five) combined into one big story.
Once, there was a very cute cow. Its name was Alfie. Alfie had a twin second cousin, seven times removed, whose name was Ralphie. Ralphie was a very ugly little cow. Poor Ralphie. Anyway, Alfie's best friend was a yellow sponge named Wilbur. Here's a little background information on Wilbur: He has a cousin named NotWilbur who is also a sponge, but a blue one. NotWilbur went around pretending to be Wilbur, but everyone knows that Wilbur is actually yellow. So Wilbur released a press statement telling everyone that if a blue sponge was claiming to be Wilbur, it was actually NotWilbur. So anway, Alfie and Wilbur were the best of friends. They had known each other all of their lives and did everything together. One of their favorite pasttimes was to go to the top of the tallest building in town (the four story Holiday Inn) and throw big tubs of mayo at innocent passers-by. How rude! Anyway, one day Wilbur and Alfie were up there, throwing mayo, when one tub hit Ike, the mailman, in the head. How tragic. This caused Ike to only speak utterly random statements in the middle of strangers' conversations. How sad. Poor Ike. Ike used to be entirely intelligible, now he has grammar usage that could make one cry. Not to mention his newly diagnosed Random Statement Toxicosisaronirama. That means he can now only declare random, sometimes useless trivia statements and facts in the middle of conversations occuring between people Ike didn't know. So Ike tried to sue Alfie and Wilbur, but he couldn't carry on a conversation. So he went to the only person in the world who knows a cure for Random Statement Toxicosisaronirama (RST for short): Jean-Pierre. Jean-Pierre was a giant oakleaf, three feet in diameter, who has been blown all over the world to see many different countries. Jean-Pierre himself used to suffer from RST, but he developed a cure and has made at least $83,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.33 (eighty-three sextilliion dollars and thirty-three cents) on the recovery of many people, animals, and objects tha had been diagnosed with RST. So Ike went in search of Jean-Pierre. However, in case you weren't paying attention, Jean-Pierre is a giant oakleaf who is blown away very easily. So Ike followed Jean-Pierre all over the world, from France, to Rome, Tokyo, Mount Everest, Peru, and finally Ike found Jean-Pierre whilst in the Amazon. Jean-Pierre was just about to blow away, when Ike grabbed him and put him under a big rock to keep Jean-Pierre in place. Ike blurted out, "Wanapenda kula nyama tefu!" Jean-Pierre, and expert in Swahili, immediately knew what Ike said (they like to eat strips of meat), and realized that Ike must suffer from RST. Yay. So Jean-Pierre pulled out his RST Anti-Toxin and gave it to Ike. Ike consumed it and four minutes later, was back to normal, only to realize that he let Jean-Pierre blow away to Bora Bora. How sad! He didn't even get to say 'thank you'. Anyway, now that Ike could carry on an intelligent conversation again, he sought the help of world-renowned attorney at law (not Gary Green), the Mexican Disco King. Unfortunately there was a disco tournament in Belarus, and the Mexican Disco King had to perform his award-winning dance to the Japanese folk song, "Iki wa nykima sho", which is Japanese for 'let's go to the meat store.. How rude. So Ike hired Chikin and Fish, from Texas, to represent him in court. Together, Chikin and Fish were about as intimidating as an overhead projector, so of course, they struck fear in the hearts of many. I'm sure the audience would like some background information on Chikin and Fish. Well, Chikin is a very intelligent fish that lives in a pond on Old Arby's farm. Fish is a chicken on Old Arby's farm. Fish was obviously not as smart as Chikin, because chickens aren't as smart as fish. *theme music begins* So now it's time for the trial... Alfie and Wilbur were being defended by Fred, who, of course, is less intimidating thn an overhead projector, and therefore less intimidating than Chikin and Fish. The judge was Calculator, the famous ATG (allergic to grass) Lawnmower. So it was Fred v. Chikin and Fish, Alfie and Wilbur v. Ike. *theme music ends* The judge was very tired and upset and restless, so he wanted them to hurry up and say what needed to be said. Jean-Pierre made a guest witness appearance for a brief moment to help Ike win the case. How Fun. Results of the lawsuit: Wilbur, the yellow sponge, and Alfie, the cute cow were found guilty of the highly dreaded crime of hitting someone in the head with a (3.1428714286 x 10 to te twenty-seventh power) pound tub of mayo and giving the person they hit in the head the dreadful disease Random Statement Toxicosisaronirama. Yes, RST. So Wilbur and Alfie were sentenced with paying a fine of $4.27 and buying Ike a parmesan chicken sandwich from McDonalds. They also were reprimanded of their rights to climb to the top of the Holiday Inn and throw things. Now they go cowtipping at Alfie's house for fun.
-Jenn
Another Story from me to brooke:
Once upon a time, the year was 3043, AD. There was a man named Pedro. Pedro liked to go exploring. He was very mischievous. His best friend was named Marc. Together they formed Marc and Pedro. How miraculous. Marc was interested in the arts: writing, singing, drawing, etc., but Pedro loved the outdoors. The two constantly battled over which hobbies to entertain. Shall they play instruments? Climb trees? Sing? Rappel? This battle continued until 1500 BC, when Pedro and Marc compromised. Gasp! A compromise! Who would have thought of this idea? Why a young woman named Bella did. Bella was a countrywoman, born of humble origins in the Cagua Mountains (That's in South America). Her family consisted of 14 people: Mom, Dad, Bella, Stella, Isabella, Gabriella, Mariella, Klyentella, Marianela, Showantella, Pete, Jack, Bob, and clyde. Bella's favourite sibling was Clyde. He was the 3rd-to-youngest child, and Bella was the 12th child (the youngest). Bella and Clyde did everything together, and Clyde taught Bella everything he knew, so Bella was rather intelligent. Yes, Bella came up with the idea for Marc and Pedro to compromise. In Thanks, Marc blessed Bella with the famous Belarusan prayer: "Great art picks up where nature ends."
-The End. Yay!
|
| Engrish. yum. engrish.com |
|
